29 December 2011

Organizing for a Move

Let me just say, I despise moving. Like really do. The Army makes it easy on us by having people come in, pack everything up, and then shipping it all for us. But still. I hate trying to get everything organized and in their proper rooms to be packed up. I just cleaned out our storage shed and discovered years worth of junk that my dearest husband (the packrat) has been hoarding. Like, things from when he was maybe 5 (he's 27 now). It's driving me insane. I don't keep anything unless it's majorly symbolic in my life (like my baby book or year books). He has things stashed I don't think he even knows what they once meant to him. It drives me INSANE!

I'm generally a pretty well organized person. Things become cluttered, and I go through and reorganize everything again. I've been avoiding the storage shed like the plague since I started renting it earlier this year because 90% of it I can't go through until John gets home.

Can you tell what one of my pet peeves is yet?

I think it's as good as it's going to get for now. A few more things to put up in our storage closet (i.e. Balian's closet) and it's on to something else.

*le sigh*

Are we there yet?

28 December 2011

New Year's Resolutions

It's that time! Well, almost that time. But I'm going to be (hopefully) super busy the next few days and John comes home on Friday, so I'm writing out my New Year's Resolutions today (before I forget. Because we all know how awesome my memory is.).

1.) I am going to lose 40 pounds, preferably before the start of summer, but definitely by the end of the year. This will put in between 140-150. 130-140 is a really healthy weight for me, but I'd be thrilled if I could just get below 150. I'm not only doing it for the vain reasons (though that has something to do with it) but because I do have a lot of medical issues that I'm hoping will go away once the weight is gone (like the high cholesterol and the fatty liver).

2.) Take better pictures. This past year (2011) I started the process of opening up my own business. Let me let you in on a little secret... i still have no idea what I'm doing... I want to spend this year and grow in my love of photography, to remember why I fell in love with it to begin with, and to learn as much as I can so I can better serve my clients. I'm also hoping to get in a few more maternity sessions, at least one birth session and at least one newborn session, and lots of kids sessions.

3.) Enjoy what I love. I love playing my flute, reading books, playing with my boys. My husband will be home for the year. I'm going to do my best not to take advantage of the time we have together, because who knows how short it will be? One thing this past 19 months has taught me (John has been gone for just about 19 months) is that life is too precious to spend it being selfish, ungrateful, and angry. I'm going to try to be happy, gracious, and giving, as much as I can be this upcoming year.


Those are my three biggest resolutions. I am feeling super confident about them. I know this year is going to be an awesome year, because I will make it awesome! So tell me your Resolutions!! How are you going to stick to them?

14 December 2011

It's been a while...

Finals are over. Last paper is getting ready to be turned in. My life as a college student is over (for at least the next five years), and I'm excited about what comes after this. Firstly, my blog is getting revamped. Total overhaul. Completely redone. Deconstructed, then built back up. Or at least the name is. :)

My weekly lineup of blogs will be changing as well, including a couple of different link-ups (which I'm excited about). Pinterest Friday's will still be the same, because, let's face it, I need a place to show off everything I've actually completed on Pinterest.

On the 30th, something just very minor is happening in my life. Just a little thing, almost hardly worth mentioning, but MY HUSBAND WILL BE HOME AFTER A YEAR IN KOREA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! We are counting down the days, hours, and minutes until he is with us again. Life has definitely changed since he left, and we've both learned to treasure every moment together.

Next up, we are MOVING! The packers will be here on January 3rd, and we will begin to wend our way to the amazing state of Washington on January 4th. Our first stop will be Gatlinburg, TN and then Springfield, MO to see some of my family. Blog updates and pictures from our cross-country trip will be posted via my Optimus (gotta love technology).

And finally, next week I will be taking a week-long vacation and break to Clayton, Georgia to visit an amazing and dear family for Christmas. I will be back in Virginia on Christmas Eve.

I think that's it! I hope everyone's semester ended well, and I hope everyone has a very Happy Christmas and a Merry New Year! I know I most DEFINITELY will!!!

02 November 2011

What's for dinner tonight?

Chicken alfredo with four cheese tortellini!


26 October 2011

Judging Me

I really need a shirt that says, "I'm a Senior English Major. I own my own photography business. I'm a mother of a 17 month old boy. My husband has been away from home for 18 months. What's your story?" I always wonder what type of reaction something like that would get.

I attend the largest Christian University in the country, probably in the world. I love Liberty, with all of its flaws and horrible decisions. The people, however... Oh the people... Because of its size, very few students bother to get to know, really know, another human being (outside of dorms). Even in some of the smaller classes you can see this happening. I have a class of less than 20 people, and I personally know maybe four of them. Would I like to get to know more? Of course. Will I? More than likely not.

Students who attend a school the size of Liberty tend to place their judgments of others on that first meeting, that first sight. They take into consideration what the other wears, what shoes, do they have makeup on, do they need makeup, do they seem confident, are they lacking in intelligence? English Majors are notoriously horrible about this. That first impression could make or break an entire semester, even an entire year. Even worse is listening to someone in class. Again, this is worse in the English field (although I'd imagine Theology majors are bad about this, as well). If someone raises their hand in an upper level English course, you expect them to have something enlightening to say. If they don't, you begin to question their intelligence. Have I done this before? Absolutely. Have I been judged like this? More than likely.

I'm a pretty friendly and open person, and I am more than willing to give someone the benefit of the doubt, repeatedly if necessary. I have a tendency to try very hard not to judge people (at least, not harshly). The only thing I ask is to not be judged in return. That request is repeatedly ignored. Which brings me back to my original point.

I am 24 years old. I am a wife, first and foremost. My husband is Army, and has been away from home for 18 months. Secondly, I am a mother. I have a 17 month old boy. He is my reason for getting up in the mornings. Next, I am a photographer. I have turned my love of photography into a business so that I can help others capture those special moments in their own lives. Finally, I am a student. I am taking 12 hours of 400 level English courses (the sane English majors typically stick to 6-9 hours), and an additional 3 hours in an upper level Theology class (which I actually adore). This is my final semester.

Don't tell me you understand how I feel when I say I am overwhelmed. You don't. Do not whine at me about how difficult your life is, because you've no idea what that term means. I don't want sympathy. I want a friendly ear to listen. I don't want judgement. I just want you to understand where I come from. And I want to hear your story.

If I can do all of this, so can you. So do many other people on a day to day basis. Most other people in this world have more worries and cares on their shoulders, much much more, than I ever will. I am thankful, every day, for the sacrifices that have been paid so I can live this lifestyle. Yet I will not disguise my troubles. I will not disguise how much it hurts when I am judged.

Until you know my story, how can you pretend to know who I am? And until you know who I am, how can you pretend to judge me?

22 October 2011

Some Entertainment for the Day

To the citizens of the United States of America from Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II:

In light of your immediate failure to financially manage yourselves and also in recent years
your tendency to elect incompetent Presidents of the USA and therefore not able to govern
yourselves, we hereby give notice of the revocation of your independence, effective immediately.
(You should look up 'revocation' in the Oxford English Dictionary.)

Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II will resume monarchical duties over all states,
commonwealths, and territories (except Kansas, which she does not fancy).

Your new Prime Minister, David Cameron, will appoint a Governor for America without
the need for further elections.

Congress and the Senate will be disbanded. A questionnaire may be circulated sometime
next year to determine whether any of you noticed.

To aid in the transition to a British Crown dependency, the following rules are introduced
with immediate effect:

-----------------------
1. The letter 'U' will be reinstated in words such as 'colour,' 'favour,' 'labour' and 'neighbour.'
Likewise, you will learn to spell 'doughnut' without skipping half the letters, and the suffix '-ize'
will be replaced by the suffix '-ise.' Generally, you will be expected to raise your vocabulary to
acceptable levels. (look up 'vocabulary').

------------------------
2. Using the same twenty-seven words interspersed with filler noises such as ''like' and 'you know' is an
unacceptable and inefficient form of communication. There is no such thing as U.S. English. We
will let Microsoft know on your behalf. The Microsoft spell-checker will be adjusted to take into
account the reinstated letter 'u'' and the elimination of '-ize.'

-------------------
3. July 4th will no longer be celebrated as a holiday.

-----------------
4. You will learn to resolve personal issues without using guns, lawyers, or therapists. The fact that you need so many lawyers and therapists shows that you're not quite ready to be independent. Guns should only be used for shooting grouse. If you can't sort things out without suing someone or speaking to a therapist,then you're not ready to shoot grouse.

----------------------
5. Therefore, you will no longer be allowed to own or carry anything more dangerous than a vegetable peeler. Although a permit will be required if you wish to carry a vegetable peeler in public.

----------------------
6. All intersections will be replaced with roundabouts, and you will start driving on the left side with immediate effect. At the same time, you will go metric with immediate effect and without the benefit of conversion tables. Both roundabouts and metrication will help you understand the British sense of humour.

--------------------
7. The former USA will adopt UK prices on petrol (which you have been calling gasoline) of roughly $10/US gallon. Get used to it.

-------------------
8. You will learn to make real chips. Those things you call French fries are not real chips, and those things you insist on calling potato chips are properly called crisps. Real chips are thick cut, fried in animal fat, and dressed not with catsup but with vinegar.

-------------------
9. The cold, tasteless stuff you insist on calling beer is not actually beer at all. Henceforth, only proper British Bitter will be referred to as beer, and European brews of known and accepted provenance will be referred to as Lager. New Zealand beer is also acceptable, as New Zealand is pound for pound the greatest sporting nation on earth and it can only be due to the beer. They are also part of the British Commonwealth - see what it did for them. American brands will be referred to as Near-Frozen Gnat's Urine, so that all can be sold without risk of further confusion.

---------------------
10. Hollywood will be required occasionally to cast English actors as good guys. Hollywood will also be required to cast English actors to play English characters. Watching Andie Macdowell attempt English dialogue in Four Weddings and a Funeral was an experience akin to having one's ears removed with a cheese grater.

---------------------
11. You will cease playing American football. There are only two kinds of proper football; one you call soccer, and rugby (dominated by the New Zealanders). Those of you brave enough will, in time, be allowed to play rugby (which has some similarities to American football, but does not involve stopping for a rest every twenty seconds or wearing full kevlar body armour like a bunch of nancies).

---------------------
12. Further, you will stop playing baseball. It is not reasonable to host an event called the World Series for a game which is not played outside of America. Since only 2.1% of you are aware there is a world beyond your borders, your error is understandable. You will learn cricket, and we will let you face the Australians (World dominators) first to take the sting out of their deliveries.

--------------------
13. You must tell us who killed JFK. It's been driving us mad.

-----------------
14. An internal revenue agent (i.e. tax collector) from Her Majesty's Government will be with you shortly to ensure the acquisition of all monies due (backdated to 1776).

---------------
15. Daily Tea Time begins promptly at 4 p.m. with proper cups, with saucers, and never mugs, with high quality biscuits (cookies) and cakes; plus strawberries (with cream) when in season.

------------------

God Save the Queen!

17 October 2011

Monday's Unsung Hero

Today's Unsung Hero is a fairly new friend of mine. I've only known her for a few years, but she has had such a  wonderful impact on my life. Her name is Cassandra Clifton.

I met Cassandra through a mutual friend, and then we had a class together (Literature of the Bible). It was in that class that we really connected and became friends. We discovered a mutual love for music and books, NCIS, Castle, and she introduced me to one of my favorite artists, David Garrett, and my newest favorite show, Bones.  She graduated and left to teach English in Russia, and I left to go and be a mom. We traversed around LU and DC together, and came to know the inner workings of the Barnes and Noble Bookstore, as well as what places are the best to hide during Convocation. She has become Balian's crazy aunt, and has spent countless hours on the phone with me, listening to my rants, my vents, my tears, and my laughter. My life is better because she has been a part of it.

I love you, dear! Here's to you!

14 October 2011

Pinterest Friday

Welcome to the very first Pinterest Friday! Fridays are the day I've chosen to take something I've pinned to one of my boards on Pinterest and try it out! If you've not joined Pinterest yet, join now at www.pinterest.com! You can follow me at pinterest.com/bfphotographer.

One of the very first things I repinned onto my boards was a recipe for bath paints. I spent forever looking for markers for Balian to play with in the tub, and the paints looked like awesome alternatives. You can find the original idea here.

You will need 5 tablespoons of cornstarch, a half cup of body wash (I used Suave free and clear for kids), and whatever food coloring you want. Mix it all up and you're done! I put it all in a leftover boullion cube jar, so I could have a lid and it would keep for a while.

My initial thoughts of this experiment were, "Wow... This is really hard to mix!" Body wash is already thick. Add the cornstarch, and it's a gloopy mess. I'm pretty sure mine didn't mix as well as it could have (I can still see white at the bottom), but it may just be me. I used green food coloring and only made one batch.










Balian tested it out during his bath. He LOVED this. It was flung everywhere, smeared all over him, smeared all over the tub. He had so much fun with it. I thought this jar would last for a while. Nope. He used every single bit of it. At least I knew he was clean!


















Since it only uses a half cup of body wash, there is still plenty left to use for another day. The body wash was less than $2, and the amount of cornstarch and food coloring I used is definitely less than a dollar's worth. It's a price you can't really beat for a fun time in the tub. 

New Challenge

I am trying so desperately hard to lose weight and get fit before my hubby comes home. I want to look so damn good his jaw drops. But, there are always major setbacks. For instance, I don't have time. I don't know what to do, etc. So I'm committing to a new workout, highlighted here in phase one:



Yup. I found it on Pinterest. It's 20 days, low key. If I can't do this, I just pretty much suck. Where it's ten minutes jogging in place, I'm going to do a ten minute run (mainly because I don't do jogging in place well). 

So for the next 20 days, I will be attempting this. Who knows? I might do phase 2 after this. 

Do you have any weight loss plans/advice? What are you doing to look good?

Best Day Ever

Today started out like any other typical Friday for me. Got up, coffee, talked to John, then went to Lit Crit. The one main difference in today versus any other day is the fact that I don't have African American Lit today (we have a take home Midterm instead), so when I came home from my morning class, I was home to stay. Today has been the first day in a very long time I was able to stay home and just chill. Balian and I went to the mall (where I bought a cute pair of moccasins!), I've worked on two separate DIY projects from Pinterest (both will be blogged about on my Pinterest Fridays blog in the coming weeks), was actually able to eat lunch, and even played Oblivion while Balian used me as a springboard.

On any normal day, I'd be in class. By the time I'd get home, Balian would be down for a nap, and we wouldn't really have time for anything after he woke up because I'd be working on dinner. Today is different. It reminds me of why I want to be a stay at home mom. I love having this freedom to just do and not have to worry.

Hence, the best day ever. 

12 October 2011

New Recipe Wednesday

I found the Cheesy Shells and Greens recipe in the November issue of Woman's Day magazine. I'm really not sure what to make of it, in all honesty. I had to substitute apple pie spice for nutmeg, because it was the only thing I had that came closest to pure nutmeg. It made the dish sweeter than it would have been, but it's not a bad taste. Also, this recipe calls for using the broiler. I am not a broiler user. Everything I cook under the broiler burns. Including the bread crumb topping on this meal (it was only in the oven for like a minute!!!).

What little bit that wasn't burnt I could taste, tasted pretty decent. Definitely not one of my favorite meals, but decent none-the-less. I'm going to have to cook it again one day, using the regular old oven instead of the broiler.

This isn't a very healthy recipe, but good for something quick and as a good alternative to regular mac and cheese. Overall for my taste (minus the burnt topping): about 3 stars. Not the worst I've ever had, but definitely not the best.

Here's the recipe, if you would like to try it out:

Ingredients:
12 oz medium pasta shells
1 tbsp unsalted butter
2 tbsp all-purpose flour
1 1/4 cups whole milk (I used skim)
1 tbsp dijon mustard
1/8 tsp freshly grated or ground nutmeg
Pinch cayenne (optional)
6 oz extra-sharp Cheddar, grated (I used regular sharp)
Salt, Pepper
1 bunch spinach, thick steams discarded, leaves roughly chopped


1.) Cook the pasta according to the package directions.
2.) Meanwhile, melt the butter in a large pot over medium heat. Add the flour and cook, stirring, for 2 minutes; whisk in the milk. Cook, stirring occasionally, until slightly thickened, 5 minutes.
3.) Whisk in the mustard, nutmeg, cayenne (if using), 1 cup Cheddar, 1/2 tsp salt, 1/4 tsp pepper. Add the pasta and spinach and toss to combine.
4.) Heat broiler. Transfer the mixture to a 1 1/2 quart broiler-proof baking dish or four 12 oz ramekins. Sprinkle with the remaining 1/2 cup Cheddar and broil until golden brown, 3-4 minutes.


For the topping (optional)
 Pulse 4 slices of bread in a food processor to form coarse crumbs (I used about a 1/4 cup of bread crumbs). Stir in 1/4 cup finely chopped flat leaf parsley and 2 tbsp olive oil. Sprinkle over the pasta before broiling.

Nutrition Info per Serving:
 - 593 Calories
 - 22 grams fat (14 grams saturated fat)
 - 61 mg cholesterol
 - 677 mg sodium
 - 25 gram protein
 - 73 grams carbs
 - 4 grams fiber

10 October 2011

New Stuff and a Cool New Award!

I've already introduce Monday's Unsung Hero, a way for me to praise those little known hero's in our lives, but I'm now introducing two new weekday themes. On Wednesdays, I will be cooking a brand new recipe that I've found online or in a magazine and reviewing it here. Friday's will be henceforth Pinterest Friday's. Pinterest is my newest obsession. It's a giant idea pin board. If you haven't seen it yet, check it out here. If you're already on Pinterest, follow me here. So Friday's blogs will be my review and share of different pins that have been posted. I'll be trying out a lot of different things and being very crafty, so it's something you definitely don't want to miss!

Onto the award!

My bestfriend/sister at In Her Own Words pinged me for this super sweet Creative Blogger award.



So here are the simple rules, so that you can pass on the award to who you think is is a Kreativ Blogger. Share 7 random facts about yourself, and then pass this on to seven different Blogger who you think deserves it. Make sure to link their blogs to yours so that others can see their Blogs, too!

Here are my 7 facts:
1.) I sleep with a teddy bear that my hubby gave me for Christmas.
2.) I love running. I just don't have the motivation to do it.
3.) I make and sell wreaths. I have just about a thousand new ideas for them, just not enough money and time to see them to completion.
4.) My favorite Disney movie is Lion King. I have watched it twice since buying it last week.
5.) My favorite tv shows are Castle and Bones.
6.) I love reading. I'm constantly trying new and different genres to broaden my literature horizon.
7.) I love dance.

Here are the 7 blogger friends who most deserve this award!

1.) Cassandra Clifton at Lions, Tigers, and Dandelions. She's such a wonderful person, and her thoughts and emotions come through so well through her writing. Definitely an amazing blog to read.

2.) Lisa Rosenberg at Smacksy provides me with a daily dose of laughter with the fun conversations she has with her son Bob, the Jedi.

3.) Anna Plyler always has something inspiring and beautiful going on at her blog Grace.

4.) If you're looking for a lot of randomness, check out Jonathan Arnold's blog The Bi-Polar Ramblings of Me. I'm being serious when I say that you will never know what he'll post next, which is why I love it so much.

5.) Love love love, love love love Leesha at Just Leesha. So many adorable pictures of her girls and book reviews. Who could ever ask for more in a blog??

6.) Author of Single Dad Laughing has so many different insights, fun contests, and (of course) adorable pictures. 

7.) The Oopsey Daisy Blog is a new blog I just started following. She has lots of different ideas for homeschooling, fun crafts, giveaways. Just a lot of awesomness.

I wish I could put all of my fave blogs on here, but unfortunately I can't. Maybe one day. :)



Monday's Unsung Hero

Today's hero is (drumroll please)... Anna Marie Leviner!

Anna and I met my first semester at Emmanuel. We became friends very quickly, despite our very different personalities, and we decided to room together for our next year in the dorm.

Anna is the only person, outside of my family, who has lived with me for longer than a semester. How she survived and still love me today is a mystery that I may never understand. I am not the easiest person to live with or love. I am rambunctious, loud, impulsive, and I have a very bad temper. Anna was introverted, content with peace and quiet, and incredibly patient.

I was in a really bad place at the end of that year. I know Anna was beyond frustrated with me, but she loved me anyways. The term "best friend" could never describe her, because it goes so much deeper than that. I believe we truly became sisters that year. Since then, we've laughed and cried and shared hopes and dreams. When it came to who would be Balian's godparents, Anna and her husband were the only logical choice. I couldn't have asked for a better friend or ally in life.

So here's to Anna, this week's Unsung Hero. For keeping me grounded and always being there whenever I've needed it most.

03 October 2011

Monday's Unsung Heroes

Every Monday for the next few weeks, I'm going to dedicate a blog to an unsung hero, someone (other than my husband) who has made a significant impact on my life.

This weeks unsung hero is Michelle Mullins. I cna not tell you the depth of the love and admiration I have for this woman.

I met Michelle at Emmanuel back in 2006. I've learned just a small amount of her life story since then. She has been through loss that no woman should ever have to bear, more times than any other woman could ever handle. She has lived through tumors and various other illnesses that, instead of taking the life out of her, only put the life back into her. She is the mother of a wonderful 18 year old young lady, who is more like her mother than either will ever admit. ;)

Michelle has been my mentor and my counselor for years. She has never been one to step around issues. If it's the truth, it's going to hurt, but you need to hear it regardless. It's one of the things I love about her. I've had these truths put to me numerous times, and I've always survived and have always come out with a higher respect for the one who told it to me. 

Michelle's greatest goal is to help others. It's almost what she lives for, and she's awesome at it.

I love this woman, so incredibly much. My admiration for her has no bounds, and she is constantly surprising me with her constant stream of encouragement and strength.

Michelle Mullins. This one's for you. 

30 September 2011

Rice and Egg Drop Soup Recipe

I love experimenting in the kitchen, especially when the experiments turn out well! It's starting to turn a little chilly here lately, so I've been in a soup mood. I'm not a conventional soup eater. I can't stand chicken noodle, but I do love chicken and rice. Last week I got creative and coupled chicken and rice with egg drop soup. The result? Absolutely splendid!

You will need:
4 chicken boullioun cubes
5 cups of water
1/2 cup rice
1/4 chicken breast
1 1/2 tbsp cornstarch
2 eggs
1 egg yolk
1/2 cup Green Onion (optional)

Boil 3 of the boullion cubes and 3 cups of water in a medium saucepan. Reduce heat to medium and add the rice. Cook for 20-30 minutes, or until rice is done. While waiting on the rice, cut up the chicken breast in small pieces and cook. Set aside. In another saucepan, boil the last boullion cube and two cups of water. Take about  1/4 of the resulting broth and set aside. Mix the eggs together and begin dropping into the boiling broth by spoonfuls. Continue until there is no more egg left. Mix the cornstarch with the 1/4 cup of broth. Now mix the green onions, the egg broth, the chicken, and the cornstarch mixture in with the rice, stir, and voila! Chicken, Rice, and Egg drop soup! So easy, and tastes delicious!

Please note, this is an original recipe. Variations can occur. This soup is also very thick, not a lot of broth. If you want more broth, add another boullion cube and another cup of water to the rice.

Happy eating!

28 September 2011

Pumpkin Planters DIY

I was thinking the other day how cute it would be to have little pumpkin planters out front. So I made some! You're going to need two large pumpkin candy bowls ($2 each at Walmart), two hanging baskets ($5 at Walmart), soil and whatever plants you want to put in the hangars (I used purple mums).











Step 1:
   Drill two holes on opposite side of the pumpkin bowl.




Step 2:
     Drill holes on the bottom of the bowl, so that water can pass through instead of pooling up.



Step 3: 
     Attach the pumpkin bowl to the hanging planters using zip strips (or string, or whatever you have handy). Make sure you cut off any excess.

And there you have it! So simple and easy! Now, put a plant in, hang from a  hook, and enjoy your new Halloween decoration!



26 September 2011

I Heart Faces Weekly Challenge



This weeks challenge is the Best Face Photo from Summer 2011. I was able to travel to Missouri to visit my grandparents for the first time since my son was born. This was the first time they've been able to meet their great-grandson, and much fun ensued! Above is my Grandfather holding my sleeping son. It was his favorite nap place the entire stay!

Check out the other entries at I Heart Faces!

This photo was entered into the I Heart Faces photo challenge – www.iheartfaces.com


Reasons

One question I am always asked is, "How do you do it?" How do I do what, exactly, is my normal answer. How do I attend class full time and raise a kid by myself? How do I deal with the fact that my husband has been gone since May of 2010, won't be home until January of 2012, and has spent less than a month total in the presence of his family? How do I juggle the demands of motherhood with starting my own business? Those three questions have a very easy answer. I do it because I don't have a choice. There's not some heroic phrase that I can say or something I can do to make it sound like this is something I want to do. The simple fact is that I was given this lot in life, and I have to take what is dealt to me.

I wish you knew how many mornings I wanted nothing more than to stay in bed and cry until my head felt like it was going to explode. However, I have a 15 month old who wakes up very hungry and wet at 9. I know that if I want to get anything done around the house, I'll have to get up at 7:30. So I do. It's that simple. I do this because it is what is required of me. I can't neglect my son. I can't neglect my home. And I can't neglect my studies.

Am I happy? For the most part, yes, I am. I have an active, healthy, intelligent son. I have a husband who has sacrificed a lot to give us what we have today. And I have friends and family who care deeply for me. Do I wish that I could change some things? Oh most definitely. But I can't, so I keep moving forward. Forward to the day where my family is a family again. Forward to the day when I have my degree and can pursue my dreams. Because this... This is my life.

25 September 2011

Woman in the Mirror

One of my friends (Cassandra) posted a question as her status the other day. She was asking the general public what they see when they look in the mirror. The answer could be literal or figurative. 

When I look in the mirror, I see a 24 year old woman, who could pass for a 20 year old, struggling to get her weight under control (that's the literal). She's very self conscious and has a pretty low self esteem. She has troubles fitting in with this world. Sometimes she's okay with that, but other times, like today, she resents it. She strives to be like everyone else, to be normal; but then, if she were normal, then who would she be? I see a woman who has based her identity off of what others have told her about herself. She's either this or that, one day she's this and the next she's that. Today, she is beautiful , energetic, friendly, and accomplished. Tomorrow, she will be lazy, and hate herself for it. I have a love/hate relationship with this woman, which is perhaps why I avoid mirrors when possible. That's another reason I'm a photographer. If I'm behind the camera, then no one has a chance to capture me on film, and I don't have to deal with the harsh realities of life. 

Today, at least, I'm happy with the woman in the mirror. Tomorrow will be different, but save for tomorrow what is tomorrows, and enjoy what today gives you.

23 September 2011

Easy Peasy

I love burning candles. I have at least ten different candle holders, and they are burning almost non stop in my house. The worst part, though, is cleaning the wax off of them. Candle wax is so incredibly difficult to scrape off. While perusing Google earlier today, I found an easy way of getting the candle wax off of any candle holder!

Boil a cup or two of water in a small saucepan. Set the holder in the saucepan to where none of the water gets in. The boiling water will begin to melt the wax. Wipe out the inside of the holder with a paper towel until all of the wax is gone.


See how simple that is???

21 September 2011

Truths


It's late, and I'm about to head to bed, but I just wanted to shout out a truth right quick.

I am completely and madly in love with the most amazing/wonderful/compassionate man that God has placed on this earth. It's a truth. He is absolutely awe inspiring, and the love of my life.

Yes, I lean on him more than he thinks I should. Yes, I frustrate the living bejeezus out of him. Yet no one has shown me love the way he has.

It's amazingly gratifying to say that, beyond all reason and logic, I am in love.

I love you, John Zachary.

Come What May.

10 September 2011

Facebook Friends

We all have them. Those friends on Facebook that only exist in the realm of the internet. If you see them outside of that realm, conversation is short and awkward, however, as soon as you are able to retreat back inside your safe place, you message that person (or they message you) saying how awesome it was to see you, followed by an hour long comment war on their post. Why could that conversation not have taken place in public?

We are in a dark and desperate spot when it comes to needing fellowship. Most just choose to remain on Facebook, in chat rooms and forums, instead of venturing out into the world because, let's face it, we're getting lazy. It takes less effort to talk to people online than it does in person.

I have a couple of friends on my Facebook that I personally do not know. One is the wife of an amazing friend, the other a friend of a very close friend. I finally get to meet my friends wife in December, and I'm terribly excited! She is a very awesome person. The other friend, however, I've never met, but apparently everyone is getting the impression that we're best friends. I find this slightly annoying since I've had maybe two conversations with her and, bless her heart, love her to death, and all that, but I just didn't feel like we would be good friends. If I don't feel like I can hold a decent conversation with you in person, then I'm not going to talk to you through a social medium to make you feel better because you are socially awkward.

There was a time, in the not too distant past, where people went to parks, talked with their neighbors over the grill, had community cookouts... The days of our kids playing with other neighborhood kids is swiftly coming to an end. Instead of going outdoors, our children now get online and play o nvirtual playgrounds.

And we wonder why kids are as disrespectful as they are today. We worry over their obesity and put them on diets and make them exercise at gyms. We wonder why there's such a heavy amount of adhd diagnoses, why there are more and more kids fighting with each other. It all comes back to social interactions.

Teach your kids how to behave in public. Take them to a park, let them run and play outside. Sign them up for Rec sports, where they can be with other kids their own age. Don't let them spend hours gaming. Don't let them spend hours in front of the TV or the computer.

Take a vested interest in your childs life.

Let's get back to a social place. Let's stop hiding behind monitors, fake screen names, fake care and compassion.

Let's stop hiding and start living.

09 September 2011

Just another really really bad day...

Yesterday morning started out the same as usual. I left for class on time (for once) but arrived two minutes late because of traffic. I have no idea why traffic was so bad yesterday. Maybe it was because of the motocyclist that decided to swerve around me and cut in front of fifteen other cars in order to make the light. At any rate, class yesterday morning (Theology and Politics) had me reeling on a few different aspects. When I disagree with someone on points that I feel that I am right on, I have a tendency to become aggressive in my defense of the points (something I have to work on). After class ended with the same fight over my parking spot as I was leaving and ended with me almost being hit by a camaro (not my fault! He tried to turn into me!). A very frustrated me was thinking about just calling it a day right there, but decided to suck it up and go to my next class, where something very disturbing happened. I started having this tightening in my stomach. Honest to God, it felt like a contraction. I've been having these off and on for a month or so, but more so in the past couple of days. So after class I called my doc, who then told me to go to the er, where I sat for six hours while they told me I was fine, but they were going to treat me for a UTI. The doc himself said that UTI is just words for "I don't know what's going on". That really instilled a lot of confidence in me. I got home at around 10, still feeling sick and crying on top of that. I have since decided that a lot of my issues center around stress.

I stress out easily. I don't do it on purpose, and it generally doesn't last long. Today ends my third week of class, and I have been stressing almost relentlessly. I have a paper due on Monday, a paper due Thursday, plus near 500-1000 pages of reading to do a week. On top of getting my photography business off of the ground. On top of raising Balian (whom I am missing somewhat desperately).

It has just been a bad week (with the exception of Tuesday, which was a glorious day). I am still working as diligently as ever on my school work, but I am very ready for this to all be over. I miss having my freedom. I miss spending time with Balian. I miss being me.

06 September 2011

Baby Fever

John's gone and done it again. Ugh.

My hubby's greatest wish is for a baby girl all for himself. The way he acts, you would think I'm already pregnant with his princess on the way (an impossibility since I haven't seen him since January). So for the past week (after seeing his love-lorn face when talking about the non-existent princess) I am completely and totally ready to get pregnant again. For him.

John has missed out on 15 months thus far of Balian's life. Everything that he's seen Balian accomplish, he's had to watch via Skype. And while we are eternally grateful for this huge advantage in technology, it's not the same. When he found out I was pregnant with Balian, John wanted nothing more than to be there for the birth. He wanted to watch his little boy grow up, and that's been difficult for him to do. I can definitely understand his want to have another one, and I'm finally jumping on the bandwagon.

Last night I was looking at crib bedding for our non-existant little girl. Yeah, I have baby fever pretty badly right now. It increases whenever I see new mothers cradling their tiny ones. I love my little boy so so so so much, but I would love to have that tininess again. The pain kind of increases whenever I see a mom breastfeeding. I was never to be able to do that comfortably with Balian. He's always been a... *ahem* voracious eater.

The cure for baby fever? Remembering delivering Balian. The immense pain. Yup. Baby fever gone.

04 September 2011

Fix It Friday 112

It's been a while since I've done a Fix it Friday. This weeks photo was an adorable one taken by Angie Arthur Photography. Here is the original:

For my first edit, I raised the exposure levels, added a bit of warmth to the photo, riased the highlights and midtones, then added a diffused glow texture. I also straightened the picture and cropped it.



For the second one, I converted the image to black and white, then raised the highlights and midtones and added a bit of a vignette.


Check out all of the other edits at I heart Faces!



29 August 2011

Roasted Salmon and Veggies

Here's a recipe that I found in this month's Woman's Day magazine! It originally called for red onions, cauliflower, and grape tomatoes, but I'm pretty sure you can substitute any summer/fall veggie!

Ingredients:
1 Squash (sliced)
2 Roma tomatoes (whole)
1 cup Green Onions
1 cup Corn (I cut mine off of the cob)
2 tbsp olive oil
salt and pepper
1 Salmon fillet
1/2 tsp Curry powder

 1.) Heat oven to 425. Cut up squash and onions. Combine with other veggies in an aluminum foil covered casserole dish or on a baking sheet.
2.) Drizzle olive oil and 1/4 tsp of salt and pepper over veggies. Toss to coat.
3.) Roast for 20 minutes.
4.) Season the salmon with the curry, 1/2 tsp salt and 1/4 tsp pepper. Place with the veggies and continue roasting until salmon is done (about 12-15 minutes).
5.) Serve and enjoy.


Variations: The original recipe called for 1/4 cup raisins (to be added to the veggies after roasting), 2 small red onions, 1 small head cauliflower (cored and sliced), and 1 pint of grapes. Another variation, substitute the salmon with 1 chicken breast.

Use more salmon for more people. This recipe will feed one (and a baby).

This is an incredibly tasty meal! Balian loved the squash and the tomatoes. It was also very easy clean-up, since everything was just put into one pan.

Abortion

Miscarriage. The ending of a life. Murder. All of these have been used to define the term abortion. Etymonline.com, an online etymology dictionary, reads that during the 19th century, abortion came to be used principally for intentional miscarriages. There are a plethora of reasons that women choose to terminate their pregnancy; they don't feel like they would be a good mother, they were raped, they don't want a deformed or mentally debilitated child, it's for the best, the list goes on. A hundred reasons can all be boiled down to one: the child is unwanted. Who could possibly want a handicapped child? Who could possibly want a child born from a rape?

Abortion has been around since the beginning of time, although the term for the act has only been around a few centuries. Doctors once used herbs to cause the mother to go into pre-term labor, thereby expelling the (sometimes still living) child. Now, they make sure the baby is dead before vacuuming out the inside of the woman's womb.

Abortion is one of the hot topics surrounding politics and religion today. It has become a commonplace medical, outpatient procedure, much like getting an unwanted tooth removed, and there are some that view the child just like that, an unwanted object that needs to be gotten rid of. Except, the child isn't a tooth. It's a living being. It has nerves, it develops a brain, it feels pain. It feels when it is pulled from the womb. It feels when it's died. Yet these are all points that no one wants to think about, scientific points that are largely ignored, because then it's easier to justify ending that life.

At three weeks, the tiny cells in the womb already have a gender. It's a boy or it's a girl. 3 weeks. That's even before the egg implants on the side of the uterus.
At five weeks, the tiny baby may not look like much, but it's already developing a spinal cord. It has nerves.
At week six, the heart begins beating and begins its lifelong job of pumping blood, which has already begun forming in little blood vessels. Most mothers are just finding out that they are pregnant.
In week seven, the now pumping heart forms chambers. the arms and legs develop, as well as the lungs and other assorted organs. Its brain is growing, learning, and its tiny vocal cords are formed.
At eight weeks, the child begins moving, moving its arms, its legs, everything. It has teeth underneath its gums and a mouth and a nose. It's a baby.
By week nine, the heart is completely formed. The child has fingers, toes, and plays with each. It plays, it explores. It learns.
In week ten, hair begins to form. The childs distinct identity is already apparent in the appearance of fingerprints.
By eleven weeks, the child is sticking out its tongue, tasting the embryonic fluid with its newly formed tastebuds, swallowing. Its brain is still developing, making over 250,000 neurons a minute. The cartilage giving it shape is turning to bone.
By twelve weeks, its brain is fully formed. It has fingernails, toenails, and is learning by the minute. It uses its legs to push against the womb, it plays, it explores.

The vast majority of abortions occur between six and twelve weeks. When does life begin? Scientists say at six weeks, when the heart begins to beat, yet at three weeks, the sex of the infant is already determined. It's a boy or it's a girl. How is that not life? Because it doesn't breathe? Plants don't breathe, starfish don't breath, yet both of these things are protected.

205 million women become pregnant each year. Over a third of that number is unintended pregnancy. A fifth of the 205 million (approximately 41 million) end in abortion. Abortions account for approximately 70,000 maternal deaths each year, and five million women end up crippled from the procedure.

The lack of education on abortion is astounding. Women are able to walk into clinics simply saying they need an abortion and have it done. Some clinics, because of privacy laws, don't even require the mother to be of legal age. They aren't educated about the results of the abortion, they aren't told that there are alternatives, they simply aren't informed. What a difference it would make if women were better informed about what is happening inside of them. What a difference it would make if they could see the tiny creature they are bearing.

Educate. Inform. Learn.

Don't judge. Don't hate.

Love.

28 August 2011

First smile... First steps... First sword


Balian holding his very first (plastic) sword. It's a happy day in the Hershman household.

26 August 2011

Week in Review

Ahhhh... Nothing like back to school... The smell of new notebooks and papers... Hearing the pleasant sound of new pens scratching and new erasers erasing... The screech of tires and the endless Nascar race that is the Liberty University Commuter Parking Lot.

Yep, it's Fall semester at good ole LU. My final semester (and I can NOT stop praising God enough for that!) Here's a recap of my first week back.

Monday: Yeah.
Tuesday: Umm...
Wednesday: Are you sure it's not Friday?
Thursday: Again?
Friday: I don't think I'm going to make it...

Monday I was ten minutes late for my first class, and about three minutes late for my second, where my professor kindly told us that if we are in the habit of being late, then we need to drop the class. Immediately. o_0 Tuesday I was two minutes late for my first class, but on time for my next two.  I also discovered I have two different classes with two different friends I've not talked with for over a year. It was a happy day. Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday went by in pretty much the same ways, except actually arriving on time.

Let me sum up my classes for the semester: Literary Criticism, African-American Literature, Theology and Politics, Religious Issues in Dramatic Literature, and a Seminar over Charles Dickens. Total number of pages to be written for the semester? Approximately 50-75. Total number of pages to read for the semester? Approximately 10,000.

I'm already beginning the semesterly "Oh my God my professors are moving in for the kill" traumatic freak out session. Our first paper is due in two weeks. Five pages. I'm almost in tears thinking about it.

My favorite class thus far is actually Theology and Politics. Since voting in the last election, I've become more and more interested in how our government is run and the influences surrounding the decisions made. It's a really interesting course so far. My most challenging course will be Literary Criticism. Thus far, I understand nothing about the class. Not a word. I think LU makes seniors take it to cut back on the amount of English majors who graduate. My most reading class is definitely Dickens with six full novels in which to consume in the next 18 weeks.

Liberty has opened up the fourth floor in the main school building. If you have ever been inside Demoss Hall on LU Campus, you will know that there is no rhyme or reason to the way the rooms are numbered. Fourth floor is worse. Much, much worse, because now there are long hallways to traverse and just when you think you've reached your class, you have yet another two hallways to go down. It's reminiscient of the moving staircases in Hogwarts and the doors that lead to some places most days of the week and to someplace different on Friday.

And then, of course, there's the lovely mess that is the Commuter parking lot. After spending four days back in the all encompassing jungle of cars badly parked, I sent off a nice, eloquent, email to the director of Commuter Affairs, which then prompted a mass email sent to students, faculty, and staff written by the Chancellor, which basically said to quit bugging them with our parking problems and there was no way they are going to build us a parking garage. In other news, we have a new Visitor's Center with a gold dome...

So there you have it. My first full week of my final semester on the Liberty University campus. I am glad to be back in a place where the scholarly intellectuals and the students exchange ideas and where discussions about religion are commonplace. It is a refreshing change to speak adult instead of toddler. And to not be screamed at.

25 August 2011

Show Me Your Flaws

Why do women (and men, in some circumstances) wear make-up? To cover flaws.
Why do people invest thousands and millions in plastic surgery? To cover up God's flaws.
Why do people try so hard to be perfect? So that you will not see that they are, indeed, flawed.

It is a sad society we live in. Instead of embracing the flaws within us we shun them, and why shouldn't we? Flaws are supposed to be bad, right? Out of context, yes. We are flawed humans, imperfect, because of the imperfect world we live in. We fell from Grace and perfection.

Yet, shouldn't we strive for perfection?

The answer? No. I don't believe we should strive for perfection. There has only been one perfect human in the full existance of the earth, and we hung Him on a Cross. I strive daily to be as understanding, as loving, and as forgiving as Christ is. I fail on a daily basis. I am flawed, and my flaws continually obstruct my goals of being more like Christ. I do not strive for perfection, because in order to achieve perfection, you have to be God. That raises the question, "If God is perfect, and everything He makes perfect, then shouldn't we be perfect?" The simple answer? No, because of a thing called Free Will and an event called The Fall. Our world, Earth, is perfect in its own self-sustaining way. The way the sun rises and sets is perfect. Even the way our planet is positioned in the solar system is perfect (a figurative inch to the left or to the right would have us in the middle of an asteroid galaxy, incapable of sustaining life). The vast beauty of our universe is perfect. We, however, are not (yaaaaay sin...).

I think this is slightly amazingly humorous. There is no such thing as perfection from a human standpoint. We only have a flawed sense of perfection (our senses will never be able to grasp the pure perfection of God). So in trying to rid of ourselves of our flaws in order to achieve perfection, we are, in fact, making ourselves more flawed. Irony much?

So why do we still battle for this flawed perception of perfection? Because we caree more for what others think of us than we do how we perceive ourselves. If human perfection is a size 00 with a D cup, blonde hair, with legs longer than their torso, then that is what a human must achieve, yet, that's not a comforable achievement. I like my dark hair. I also like my size 10 waist, although not so much my DDD cups. And I like my legs being proporionate to the rest of my body. In order to achieve the idea of human perfection, I have to give up everything about myself that I've grown comfortable with. I have to give up what makes me who I am. I enjoy being flawed because it sets me apart from the rest of the world. What makes me flawed makes me human. What makes me flawed makes me, me.

Summarily, why would you change who you are for a flawed sense of perfection in a world full of changing views? Why destroy what makes you an individual?

23 August 2011

Memories

First off, let me just say that the weather here is GORGEOUS! I actually wore a cardigan to class this morning. Absolutely splendid!!

So this morning, I re-activated my Facebook account so that I could possibly find a note that I had written regarding my life's testimony. I didn't find it, but I found this instead:

"There are alot of stories going around about why we dropped everything and went to Pittsburgh. Here's the REAL story:

Anna Plyler, our Drug "Lady", had a shipment that she needed Minnellis, who is an illegal immigrant from Colombia, to take to Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania. We took Chris for precaution and as an excuse should a cop decide to pull us over, Chris could say that he was married to Minnellis so that she would be considered legal. Joe Williams and myself were there as bodyguards, while Sierra McConnell and Daniel Byrd were the drivers.

And THAT is the TRUE story.

Anna is satisfied with our work and is sending us back this weekend... Wednesday to be exact..."


This made me smile, and made me sad, because I no longer talk to four of the six people that are mentioned. We all thought we were going to be friends' forever. Naievity oft breeds ignorance. It's sad looking back at memories and realizing that the people you were closest to are the ones that are no longer in your life. I miss these days, when we could all pile up into the back of a truck and drive 13 hours on a whim in the middle of the night. They are sweet memories, memories of more innocent times, of college crushes, whispered secrets, and lots of giggling ("Daniel said he was going to hit my mom if you all don't stop moving!").

What's past is past, and can't be undone or redone. It's gone. However, we will always carry the memories of it with us. The painful ones, the happy and the sad, all will stay with us.

I look back on my memories with laughter and tears. Laughter at what happened, and tears that it couldn't have lasted longer.


 (disclaimer: this is a joke. Not real. It's a "you just had to have been there" situation.)

17 August 2011

Is It Here Yet??

I completely and totally revamped my blog a week ago. I just did it again. Why? Because I'M SO READY FOR FALL TO GET HERE!!!!

I think you underestimate my absolute adoration of the Autumn season. I rush Fall the way some people rush Christmas. I actually celebrate more for Fall than I do Christmas (that's kind of sad). I just adore it!

I love Fall. I love the smells, the temperatures, the amazing color on the trees, everything! It is by far the greatest season on the planet. And if God truly loves me, he will give me a daughter born on the first day of Fall. That would be spectacular. And yes, her name would be Autumn.

I'm slightly obsessed with this season.

16 August 2011

Meant for More

Last night I read more into Game of Thrones (which is turning out to be a really awesome book). I slipped my bookmark between the pages, set it down, reached and turned my lamp off, snuggled under the covers, and closed my eyes. It was then I realized that I had done everything as if I were a regal. I was sitting up straighter, my neck longer, graceful... These were my thoughts at this moment.

If I had been born after Arthur's reign, I would have been a Queen, the woman  behind the man.
If I had been born while Columbus sailed, I would have been a Pirate Lord, tough but kind.
If I had been born while Victoria reigned, I would have been a noble's wife, intelligent and sophisticated.
If I had been born after the 1st World War, I would have been married to a soldier, living in peace.
If I had been born during Vietnam, I would have been a hippy.

I was meant for more from this life.


Some days I feel young. I know, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that I have the rest of my life ahead of me. Other days, I begin to feel the near quarter of a century that has already passed me by. I don't want to settle for anything in this life. It's the only one I have.

I was meant for more than this. But I have to play with the cards that were dealt me.

15 August 2011

Why I don't like Skinny People

Old Navy has brought back their flare leg jean, which is major cause for celebration. However, I can't wear them. Old Navy has an annoying habit of making their jeans not fit ordinary people. If you wear an eight, you have to be an average eight. If you wear a sixteen, you have to be an average sixteen. I wear a 12/10. I have skinny legs and skinny thighs. Old Navy jeans aren't good for that. They hang off of me and they don't sit as low as I would normally like (which means I have to get a 14/16, and then we're in big trouble), so I normally do my shopping at American Eagle where their jeans were made to fit everyone, big and small.

Anyways, I was looking at a recent pic that Old Navy had put on Facebook asking people which they prefer, skinny jeans or flare jeans? The answers made me hate humanity. In general.

One woman said that only women who wore a 0-4 should wear the lighter color washes. Four people liked her comment. Other people were saying that flare jeans were only for skinny people, bigger people shouldn't be allowed to wear them, while some said the opposite.

Seriously? When I go at shop at American Eagle, I head to the clearance racks, where it's almost impossible to find jeans in my size. Know why? Because the average person is not a size 0. Nor a 1 nor a 2. They are normally in between a 6 and a 12. I am a 10/12, as stated previously. I would like to be an 8/10, because that is a healthy weight and size for me (about 140). And people think there is something wrong with me. Know what? I could go back to the weight I was in high school (about 110). But I don't want to. I looked absolutely hideous that skinny. I was nothing but a skeleton. That is not a healthy weight for me. I don't want to be super model skinny. News flash! It's not attractive to be nothing but bone. And, contrary to popular belief, it's not healthy either (on the complete other end of the spectrum, it's not healthy to be 300 pounds, either).

Here's the bottom line: you need to do what's best for you and quit judging others for what they feel is best for them. If I want to walk around in size 16 skinny jeans, then, by God, I'm going to do it and I don't want to hear you say anything about it. Why can't we be supportive of one another instead of tearing each other down so much? Why are our noses always in others business instead of taking care of our own affairs?

Please be conscious of what you say and how you say it. And sometimes, be conscious of what you don't say.

13 August 2011

Vacation, All I Ever Wanted!!

Last week, I left for a week long vacation in Georgia. First stop was my mom's house for my birthday (Yaaay 24...). It was a good birthday. I went to church and spent a while afterwards catching up with Lacey. Mom made me a delicious dinner (cashew chicken and rice) and my little sister and her husband came over. They brought their son, Logan, who has gotten so big! He's walking so much now, that it tempted Balian to start walking!

On Monday, I drove to Athens, Georgia to visit another amazing friend and her husband, Anna and John Leviner. We spent a lot of the night talking and playing with Balian, then the next morning, after I convinced John that he needed a Nook and not a Kindle, I drove to Clayton, Georgia to spend the next few days with Charlotte Tomlinson and her awesome family.

Charlotte and her husband, Sean, are the amazing parents of seven fantastic children: Draven, Autumn, AJ, Adrian, Marius, Felix, and Sunny. I had so much fun playing with all of them! Marius loves to arm wrestle and called me Victorious the entire time. Sunny is absolutely adorable and definitely made me want a little girl. Draven and Adrian have become my new Halo buddies, and Autumn has inspired me to pursue dancing more and provided a beautiful model for a photography shoot! We went to the river and played in the current. On Thursday, we went to Tallulah Gorge, where I was able to take some beautiful shots of the Falls.

Friday I came home to a brand new purple flute waiting on me! It was my annibirthday gift from my hubby!!

This week will be filled with making wreaths and getting ready for school. Saturday I have an outdoor event to go to. Hopefully I'll be able to sell some wreaths!

23 July 2011

In Memoriam

On Thursday, July 14th 2011, my cousin, Carolyn Wilkerson Anderson, tragically lost her life in a car accident. She was a mother of five kids, a daughter, a wife, and a good friend. Whenever I saw Carolyn, around town or at the house, she always had a big smile on her face. Nothing could ever seem to get her down, and in the years I had known her, I can count on one hand the number of times I had seen her cry.

Carolyn was a strong woman. She faced many trials, and was overcoming them. Had she been given more time, she would have triumphed. She was independent and strong-willed, and stubborn as a mule. She had an indomitable spirit, unshaken by tragedy. She was a fighter, who never gave up her battles.

When I remember Carolyn, when we all remember Carolyn, we will remember her smile and her laugh. I will remember her teasing her kids, her chasing Richard around the house so we could all see his Pokemon underwear, and her laughing at us putting make up on. I will remember that she was there should we ever need a shoulder to cry on or someone to vent to.

I will see her again, one day. Until then, I'm going to live in a way to make her proud and I'm going to carry the memory of her here on Earth in my heart, forevermore.

We love you, Carolyn.

Having Faith in Yourself

I am my own worst critic. I constantly degrade myself, tell myself that I'll never be good enough, and I'm always questioning my own reasoning and intellect, questioning my motives for everything that I do. However, the entire time I'm destructively criticizing myself, I am consciously aware that the things that I'm telling myself aren't true, or that there is a reason I'm thinking the way that I am thinking. I'm a very confusing mess.

It's a good thing that I'm changing.

I've begun to realize my worth. I've begun to realize that I am worth something to someone, even if it's not myself. I am intelligent, kind, generous, forgiving, strong, independent, beautiful, and a good mother. I am learning not to place my value on wordly things. My grades/GPA do not reflect my intelligence. My submission to my husband does not mean that I'm not a strong-willed individual. My blogging and my Facebooking does not make me a bad mother.

All I've ever asked is that people accept me for who I am. I want them to not only accept me, but accept my flaws. I need them to stop hatefully criticizing me, because I'm no longer listening.

I'm starting out in a new life, in a new way. I'm turning into a businesswoman, thinking and planning out my future. I'm a mom. I'm growing and changing in different ways every day. Some won't like the change. Others may be intimidated by it. But I'm learning to love it.

And that's all that really matters.

The Chaotic Lifestyle I Lead

Here is a review of the life I have lead in the past month.

  Almost a month ago, John's biological mom ended up in the hospital. While she was there, I offered to take in his two youngest sisters, who are still under her care, so that she and her husband could focus on getting her better. Mary (14) and Hallee (12) stayed with me for a little over a week while their parents battled to make Donna (John's mom) get better (which has been successful thus far). On July 2nd, the girls went home to help start cleaning the monstrosity of mess that is their house. Mary came back home with me that night while Hallee (thankfully) stayed with her mom at her house. Mary stayed with me for another week before heading down to North Carolina to stay with her sister and her aunt. A day after she left, I left for Missouri, where I met with adversity, greed, selfishness, doubt, and criticism, all in a matter of ten days. It was good to see my grandparents and the rest of my family, though, and to hear how much Balian looks like me for a change. On Monday the 19th of July, Balian and I flew back to Roanoke and drove three and a half hours down to Raleigh, NC to pick Mary up. The next day, we drove back to Lynchburg and I was reunited with a very ecstatic furball. On Wednesday of that week I drove out to my doctor's office in Charlotte Court House (an hour away) to have bloodwork done for my liver and cholesterol. As it so happens to turn out, my doc appointment wasn't Wednesday, it had been Monday. They couldn't squeeze me in that day, so they rescheduled me for the following day (Thursday) so I drove the hour drive back disappointed and somewhat perturbed, although grateful that the photographer I'm supposed to be meeting with to mentor me had to cancel our Thursday session because of the extreme heat (she's nearly 8 months pregnant), which meant I had free time to reschedule the doctor appointment. So Thursday, I made the hour drive back to Charlotte Court House, spent an hour in the waiting room with two other patients, to be then taken back to have my blood drawn in two minutes by a nurse, not to be seen by my doctor, and then drive an hour back. I was not a happy person, and I still have not received my blood results (have to wait until Monday). Friday (yesterday) I drove out to LU campus so that I could run some errands. I met up with Donna (who had driven out to pick Mary up for the weekend, if not for the rest of the summer), grabbed a coffee, and proceeded to LUPD to pick up a decal (which are not available until the start of the semester) and to get a Flames Pass (the people in the office were at Freshmen Orientation, so that turned out void as well). Then a Walmart trip and home, where I worked on a new wreath, made stuffed shells for a lovely evening dinner in which I was joined by a very good and amazing friend. 

And in that time, I've managed to finish reading two novels, study for the American Lit Clep test, delve a little bit into the world of Literary Criticism, clean out my closet, organize all of John's notes and classwork from his four years at Emmanuel college, and entertain a 13 month old boy. Why yes, yes you may call me Superwoman.

Today has been a phenomenal day. I came up with the idea to start making and selling wreaths, was invited to co-author a book review blog (which I consider a great honor because of the level of respect I hold for the main author), finished a new wreath (one of the best ones I've made), wrote my first review for the blog, and will soon be making spaghetti for dinner. It has been the most relaxing day I've had in a month.
So if you've been wondering why I've not returned texts, emails, or Facebook messages, now you know.

Monday, I meet with the photographer for a lesson on lighting, composition, and etc. Wednesday my sister in law is coming to Lynchburg for the day, so it will be a day filled with family. And then I have almost nothing to do until the 5th of August, when I will be spending a week visiting family and friends in Georgia. Followed by the start of another semester.

If anyone asks me what I did for my summer vacation, I'm totally replying with, "I ventured to Mt. Doom to help Frodo toss the One Ring into the fiery abyss, helped crown Aragorn as King, then travelled all over Middle Earth until it was time to head home with Gandalf."

A New Business Venture

Last Christmas (I gave you my heart, but the very next day, you gave it away... And now you have that song stuck in your head.) I made my first Christmas wreath. It was an evergreen wreath that I decorated with blue and silver ornaments. It turned out really well, I received tons of compliments on it and the garland I had made to go with it, and I even had some people ask me to make some for them.

The other day, I made a wreath to hang on my front door, a traditional grapevine with orange and white flowers and an apple hanging in the center. I love making wreaths. I love the way they look, I love playing with the different colors.

I'm hoping to start making wreaths to sell to others. A wreath on your front door makes your home feel welcoming and festive. Plus, selling them gives me an excuse to make them. :D

The price is $5 plus the cost of materials (if I spent $10 on the materials, your final cost is $15). I've looked at similar wreaths at both Walmart, Etsy, and Michael's, and they mainly go for $30+, so I think the pricing I've come up with is pretty fair. I'm not looking to turn a profit, just wanting to share some of this creativity with others!

If you have something specific you want on your wreath (your name, house number, etc), let me know and I will make it for you.

I use standard grapevine wreaths, 14-18 inches. If you would like something different than that, please let me know!

Starting in October, I will be making Holiday wreaths, for both Thanksgiving and Christmas (Or Hannukah or Kwanza, whatever you prefer).
Email me with specifics if you want to order a handmade wreath (annehershman@gmail.com)!!

Wreath #1:


02 July 2011

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So, it's definitley been an EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK kind of day.

Let me start by saying this past week has been a huge trial. I've taken in John's smallest sisters (14 and 12 years old). They're staying with me through the fourth while their family sorts out issues. I love both of them to death, but... Yeah... It's been a very frustrating week.

So this morning I woke up to my phone ringing, it's little notification ringtone saying I had a message or email. I checked it and saw that it was an email from Dan Pearce, founder and author of the Single Dad Laughing blog. He informed me that our photo (Long Distance Dad) had been picked as a winner in the photo contest he had been hosting! We won a portable grill!!!! That was excitement upon excitement!!

After getting everyone up, dressed, fed, and ready for a long hard day of cleaning at their house, I received another email, this one from a local photographer who has agreed to let me tag along on a few sessions and even do a one on one session!! (Check out Live Simply Photography!!) I'll be able to finally receive some constructive criticism on my own shots as well as learn from one of the top photographers in the area! So I'm super excited about that!

It's only 10:30, I still have errands to run and a house to clean, but today is looking like a brilliant day.