Changes in our lives happen so quietly, so quickly, that we rarely ever notice them. Sometimes it takes someone pointing out the change in order for us to see it. During insightful times, we notice them ourselves.
I am a wife, a mother, a daughter, a sister, an aunt, a niece, a cousin, a granddaughter, and a great granddaughter. I am a Creationist, pro-life, against homosexual marriage, and a Christian, although I'm still trying to discover what that last part actually means.
In the last ten years I have changed almost completely. Personality wise, I've grown to be less outgoing than I once was. I'm not as much of a flirt and I'm beginning to understand the way I interact wtih others and how that effects my relationships with them.
Beliefs wise, I've done a complete 180. In high school, I termed myself a Pagan. I studied Wicca, was pro-gay marriage and pro-choice. When I was 18, I became a Christian. God's call was just too strong in my life for me to ignore Him anymore. Even as a Christian, though, I was still pro-gay marriage and pro-choice. Even as a Christian, I was the biggest flirt ever and quite a bit of a whore. I was living my Pagan lifestyle, but calling myself a Christian.
Three years ago, I married a Christian Ministries graduate, John Hershman. He's my sanity in this world. He saw the person I could be, saw the person I was, and loved me (and still loves me). His love for me parallels God's love for this world. No matter what I've done to him (and I've done a lot), John will always love me, forgive me, and take me back. It's the same with God. No matter how much you deny Him, no matter how much you hate Him, He will always be ready and waiting to fold you back into His arms.
But back to three years ago. Before John and I were married, I went to a gyno, who told me that, because of hormone imbalance issues, I would have trouble getting pregnant and having a child. Well, naive and just flat out uneducated as I was, I failed to get a second opinion and just took his word for it. Regardless, having a doctor say that to me right before I was married hurt. A lot. That semester, in GNED, we were talking about abortion and it just hit me. For what reason am I pro-choice? Because I have no right over another person's body. The lamest excuse. Ever. I became upset. I realized that every abortion taking place was one less child that could be adopted by a family who can't have kids. This hit me incredibly hard, for obvious reasons. I began to see each child as my own, and I felt each of their pain. I felt it especially when I heard my son's hearbeat for the first time. How can anyone who has seen the little heart beating so fast, heard its myriad of thumps, not believe that it is a human being, deserving of every right to live?
And now I'm off of that soapbox.
I've made a lot of changes in my life. I'm a stay at home mom, and am actually happy that way. I think more women should try it, if they can. My dreams have changed, although I still want to write. I want to do research and photography.
I want to live. And I do believe I am.
I am a wife, a mother, a daughter, a sister, an aunt, a niece, a cousin, a granddaughter, and a great granddaughter. I am a Creationist, pro-life, against homosexual marriage, and a Christian, although I'm still trying to discover what that last part actually means.
In the last ten years I have changed almost completely. Personality wise, I've grown to be less outgoing than I once was. I'm not as much of a flirt and I'm beginning to understand the way I interact wtih others and how that effects my relationships with them.
Beliefs wise, I've done a complete 180. In high school, I termed myself a Pagan. I studied Wicca, was pro-gay marriage and pro-choice. When I was 18, I became a Christian. God's call was just too strong in my life for me to ignore Him anymore. Even as a Christian, though, I was still pro-gay marriage and pro-choice. Even as a Christian, I was the biggest flirt ever and quite a bit of a whore. I was living my Pagan lifestyle, but calling myself a Christian.
Three years ago, I married a Christian Ministries graduate, John Hershman. He's my sanity in this world. He saw the person I could be, saw the person I was, and loved me (and still loves me). His love for me parallels God's love for this world. No matter what I've done to him (and I've done a lot), John will always love me, forgive me, and take me back. It's the same with God. No matter how much you deny Him, no matter how much you hate Him, He will always be ready and waiting to fold you back into His arms.
But back to three years ago. Before John and I were married, I went to a gyno, who told me that, because of hormone imbalance issues, I would have trouble getting pregnant and having a child. Well, naive and just flat out uneducated as I was, I failed to get a second opinion and just took his word for it. Regardless, having a doctor say that to me right before I was married hurt. A lot. That semester, in GNED, we were talking about abortion and it just hit me. For what reason am I pro-choice? Because I have no right over another person's body. The lamest excuse. Ever. I became upset. I realized that every abortion taking place was one less child that could be adopted by a family who can't have kids. This hit me incredibly hard, for obvious reasons. I began to see each child as my own, and I felt each of their pain. I felt it especially when I heard my son's hearbeat for the first time. How can anyone who has seen the little heart beating so fast, heard its myriad of thumps, not believe that it is a human being, deserving of every right to live?
And now I'm off of that soapbox.
I've made a lot of changes in my life. I'm a stay at home mom, and am actually happy that way. I think more women should try it, if they can. My dreams have changed, although I still want to write. I want to do research and photography.
I want to live. And I do believe I am.
and i think that's awesome <3
ReplyDeleteI think "whore" is a strong term. I would say flirt but whore is kinda strong Victoria. I did like learning about how your beliefs have changed though and I really enjoyed reading this :)
ReplyDelete