Sometimes it just seems like the world falls down around your shoulders, and you begin to lose hope, and faith in god because things aren't going as you plan. I know that's how it is for me right now. My life right now is definitely not as I had foreseen it when John and I married. John would have finished his masters, had a job as a counselor, I would be done with my English degree, raising Balian, John would be home everyday, life would be good. Instead, John's gone, I'm raising Balian on my own, still not done with my degree, and every day that passes hurts more and more.
I'm trying so hard to keep faith in God, and to remember that He has a plan for me, even though I don't know it, and I can't see it, He has me covered. But it's so hard to remember when the thing you want most in the world is, literally, thousands of miles beyond your reach.
*sigh*
I guess it's time to quit whining and get back to work.
I'm trying so hard to keep faith in God, and to remember that He has a plan for me, even though I don't know it, and I can't see it, He has me covered. But it's so hard to remember when the thing you want most in the world is, literally, thousands of miles beyond your reach.
*sigh*
I guess it's time to quit whining and get back to work.
Contrary to popular belief it is ok to feel this way. I can't imagine having a part of yourself so far away not being able to touch, love on, sex, talk, do things with, make memories and so on and so forth. The one thing you do have to be careful with is that Bailan doesn't start to see your sadness. You can process what is going on in your life but he may not be able to yet. What you do in times like this is find something to occupy your time and remember when you do get him back how much you missed him and enjoy every single moment.
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