I really need a shirt that says, "I'm a Senior English Major. I own my own photography business. I'm a mother of a 17 month old boy. My husband has been away from home for 18 months. What's your story?" I always wonder what type of reaction something like that would get.
I attend the largest Christian University in the country, probably in the world. I love Liberty, with all of its flaws and horrible decisions. The people, however... Oh the people... Because of its size, very few students bother to get to know, really know, another human being (outside of dorms). Even in some of the smaller classes you can see this happening. I have a class of less than 20 people, and I personally know maybe four of them. Would I like to get to know more? Of course. Will I? More than likely not.
Students who attend a school the size of Liberty tend to place their judgments of others on that first meeting, that first sight. They take into consideration what the other wears, what shoes, do they have makeup on, do they need makeup, do they seem confident, are they lacking in intelligence? English Majors are notoriously horrible about this. That first impression could make or break an entire semester, even an entire year. Even worse is listening to someone in class. Again, this is worse in the English field (although I'd imagine Theology majors are bad about this, as well). If someone raises their hand in an upper level English course, you expect them to have something enlightening to say. If they don't, you begin to question their intelligence. Have I done this before? Absolutely. Have I been judged like this? More than likely.
I'm a pretty friendly and open person, and I am more than willing to give someone the benefit of the doubt, repeatedly if necessary. I have a tendency to try very hard not to judge people (at least, not harshly). The only thing I ask is to not be judged in return. That request is repeatedly ignored. Which brings me back to my original point.
I am 24 years old. I am a wife, first and foremost. My husband is Army, and has been away from home for 18 months. Secondly, I am a mother. I have a 17 month old boy. He is my reason for getting up in the mornings. Next, I am a photographer. I have turned my love of photography into a business so that I can help others capture those special moments in their own lives. Finally, I am a student. I am taking 12 hours of 400 level English courses (the sane English majors typically stick to 6-9 hours), and an additional 3 hours in an upper level Theology class (which I actually adore). This is my final semester.
Don't tell me you understand how I feel when I say I am overwhelmed. You don't. Do not whine at me about how difficult your life is, because you've no idea what that term means. I don't want sympathy. I want a friendly ear to listen. I don't want judgement. I just want you to understand where I come from. And I want to hear your story.
If I can do all of this, so can you. So do many other people on a day to day basis. Most other people in this world have more worries and cares on their shoulders, much much more, than I ever will. I am thankful, every day, for the sacrifices that have been paid so I can live this lifestyle. Yet I will not disguise my troubles. I will not disguise how much it hurts when I am judged.
Until you know my story, how can you pretend to know who I am? And until you know who I am, how can you pretend to judge me?
I attend the largest Christian University in the country, probably in the world. I love Liberty, with all of its flaws and horrible decisions. The people, however... Oh the people... Because of its size, very few students bother to get to know, really know, another human being (outside of dorms). Even in some of the smaller classes you can see this happening. I have a class of less than 20 people, and I personally know maybe four of them. Would I like to get to know more? Of course. Will I? More than likely not.
Students who attend a school the size of Liberty tend to place their judgments of others on that first meeting, that first sight. They take into consideration what the other wears, what shoes, do they have makeup on, do they need makeup, do they seem confident, are they lacking in intelligence? English Majors are notoriously horrible about this. That first impression could make or break an entire semester, even an entire year. Even worse is listening to someone in class. Again, this is worse in the English field (although I'd imagine Theology majors are bad about this, as well). If someone raises their hand in an upper level English course, you expect them to have something enlightening to say. If they don't, you begin to question their intelligence. Have I done this before? Absolutely. Have I been judged like this? More than likely.
I'm a pretty friendly and open person, and I am more than willing to give someone the benefit of the doubt, repeatedly if necessary. I have a tendency to try very hard not to judge people (at least, not harshly). The only thing I ask is to not be judged in return. That request is repeatedly ignored. Which brings me back to my original point.
I am 24 years old. I am a wife, first and foremost. My husband is Army, and has been away from home for 18 months. Secondly, I am a mother. I have a 17 month old boy. He is my reason for getting up in the mornings. Next, I am a photographer. I have turned my love of photography into a business so that I can help others capture those special moments in their own lives. Finally, I am a student. I am taking 12 hours of 400 level English courses (the sane English majors typically stick to 6-9 hours), and an additional 3 hours in an upper level Theology class (which I actually adore). This is my final semester.
Don't tell me you understand how I feel when I say I am overwhelmed. You don't. Do not whine at me about how difficult your life is, because you've no idea what that term means. I don't want sympathy. I want a friendly ear to listen. I don't want judgement. I just want you to understand where I come from. And I want to hear your story.
If I can do all of this, so can you. So do many other people on a day to day basis. Most other people in this world have more worries and cares on their shoulders, much much more, than I ever will. I am thankful, every day, for the sacrifices that have been paid so I can live this lifestyle. Yet I will not disguise my troubles. I will not disguise how much it hurts when I am judged.
Until you know my story, how can you pretend to know who I am? And until you know who I am, how can you pretend to judge me?
You don't owe any of these people an explanation. You are a beautiful wife, mother, photographer, and so much me more. If they can't see that then they are not worth your time.
ReplyDelete"Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind." -Dr. Seuss
Obviously, neither one of us is sane since both of us have made the journey of psychosis that is 12 upper level English courses.
ReplyDeleteTrust me though, there's a light on the other side. It's kind of faint, blueish, and wobbly, but it's there.
Also, people who are going to judge you based on appearances are usually just ridiculously insecure about themselves. No matter what we do, there will be people who judge us this way.
...it's definitely hard to live above that judgment sometimes, but know that there are people out there who do know you for who you are and love you because of that.