I weigh approximately 190 pounds. I gained close to seventy pounds while I was pregnant with Balian, and I'm finding it near impossible to lose it in a steady manner. I eat pretty well, lots of veggies and whole grains, lots of fruit and water. I'm slowly working on getting to the gym to work out. I try to be as active as I can be during the day (having a one year old makes that pretty easy).
All of that, and I still don't feel good enough. It's one thing to tell yourself that you're fat and need to lose weight. It's another thing to hear it from someone you love, no matter how lovingly they tell it to you.
So that's pretty much been my morning. Looking through Balian's birthday pictures, realizing that I'm larger than I should be, asking my husband about it, and hearing him say that he misses his skinny wife. My poor hubby. I love him to death, and I love how honest he is, but he needs to learn some tact... Granted, it didn't help that I was fishing for it...
I really am trying to lose weight. But it still hurts like hell when others point out how big I am (aww! He's expecting a brother or sister soon, isn't he!), especially when I don't feel that big at all. When I look in the mirror, I don't see my weight. I just see me. So why can't others see that as well? Why can't we all look past the physical side of another person and just see who they are for who they are?
Yes, I need to lose the weight. I am going to lose the weight (at least 40 or 50 pounds). But I'm still happy where I am. I just wish others were as happy with it.
All of that, and I still don't feel good enough. It's one thing to tell yourself that you're fat and need to lose weight. It's another thing to hear it from someone you love, no matter how lovingly they tell it to you.
So that's pretty much been my morning. Looking through Balian's birthday pictures, realizing that I'm larger than I should be, asking my husband about it, and hearing him say that he misses his skinny wife. My poor hubby. I love him to death, and I love how honest he is, but he needs to learn some tact... Granted, it didn't help that I was fishing for it...
I really am trying to lose weight. But it still hurts like hell when others point out how big I am (aww! He's expecting a brother or sister soon, isn't he!), especially when I don't feel that big at all. When I look in the mirror, I don't see my weight. I just see me. So why can't others see that as well? Why can't we all look past the physical side of another person and just see who they are for who they are?
Yes, I need to lose the weight. I am going to lose the weight (at least 40 or 50 pounds). But I'm still happy where I am. I just wish others were as happy with it.
I guess my question here would be "well why did you ask, silly?"
ReplyDeleteother than that, i understand.
*hug*
Haha! I wanted to know his thoughts, but I didn't know his thoughts would be that. :/ Lesson learned, though. If you don't want to hear it, don't ask.
ReplyDeleteI was thinking THE SAME THING lol but even I am surprised at John's candor, but you know what? You are so strong willed that you can do ANYTHING that you want to!!!
ReplyDeleteIt is great that you and your husband have the relationship where you can be brutally honest with each other. You have a beautiful hair and smile. I am much heavier than you are, but I would still like people to look for my good points instead of just seeing a fat woman.
ReplyDeleteSweetie, when you look in the mirror and you see you, that is all that matters! Yes I understand desiring your husband's thoughts on the matter, and I'm sure he didn't think before he spoke, because I'm sure he is still crazy about you at the size you are now compared to the size you were. I've always been a big girl. I love me! Won't lie, there are days I get blue because a store doesn't carry my size in a particular dress I love, but I don't let it convict me either! You are a beautiful woman and that's what you see in the mirror...embrace it :)
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