Lesson Learned

I am an incredibly selfish person. I am coming to realize this more and more every day, and I dislike it.

So yesterday I found out that, because of a tiny amount of water, my Samsung Instinct had met an untimely demise. This poor phone has been run over by a car, thrown and taken apart more times than should be appropriate, and then was brought down by a drop of water (okay, maybe more than a drop, but still). Now, imagine, if you will, me without a phone. Me, without no line of communication to the outside world. Not having a laptop I can handle, so long as I have my phone. I live off of my phone. And I'm not even lying. It's an incredibly sad realization. I went to three different stores to see what they could do about replacing my phone. The first store sad nada, the second store had a phone I wanted for more than what the retail of it was. By a lot. So the third store it was.

We have a protection plan for my phone. I pay x amount each month so that if I ever break my phone it'll be replaced. They failed to mention that I would have to pay a deductible. And they also failed to mention that it wouldn't be an immediate replacement and that I would not be given a temp phone. But they did say that they could have it to me next day.

Here's where the selfishness kicks in. I didn't know what type of replacement I was going to get. The now broken phone was an outdated model, no longer made. I had bought it incredibly cheap as a refurbed phone. Regardless, I should have sucked it up and dealt with it. But then I saw something shiny. Something with lots of gadgets and gizmos and tricks and it was PURPLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I have always prided myself on my levels of unselfishness. I'm a very generous person, to a fault. But that new, shiny, purple phone hooked me. It was so pretty! So instead of listening to common sense (which, funnily enough, sounded like my husband), I took the bait, the worm on the end of the hook in the shape of a purple LG Android phone. So instead of paying the deductible, which was cheaper, I bought a brand new phone, a phone I immediately fell in love with.

Needless to say, my husband (my voice of common sense) was not thrilled with this purchase. I was eaten up with guilt over it, even though he forgave me and (semi)laughed about it. The guilt was so horrible, it literally made my stomach ache. So I vowed to return the phone this morning and go for the cheaper alternative. I wanted to make everything better in my eyes so that I could feel worthy of the forgiveness my husband had shown me.

The experience at the store was a humbling one. To. Be. Sure. Not only did I have to explain to the managers what happened and why I was returning this brand new, beautiful and already personalized with Halo ringtones phone, but I had to work through the negotiations in front of the sales associate who saw me in a very distraught state the day before (I have a bad tendency to become highly emotional...). These associates had been the voice of reason, urging me to take the route that common sense had been telling me, and now, a day later, I was back attempting to rectify my mistake. It was excrutiatingly mortifying, and I could practically hear the "I told you so"'s pounding in my head.

As it turns out, I couldn't return the phone and do the insurance claim instead because I had already handed the older, broken phone over and after they've had it for a day, they won't return it. So, I happily humbly took the new phone and left.

I have had to learn a lot of hard lessons in my life, but this outshadows all of them. Although I have a great new phone, a pretty shiny new phone with pirate and Halo ringtones and lots of pretty, shiny apps, I am not exceedingly happy with it. I made a wrong decision. I gave into selfishness all too easily. I gave up patience and gave into the temptation of immediate satisfaction. I failed and I fell. Hard. It is a lesson I will not easily forget.

We are a selfish lot. There is not one person who is exempt from it, no matter how much they try. That doesn't give us an excuse to be, however. It doesn't give us an excuse to give in to our wants without thinking about the consequences or repercussions those wants will have. Instead, we should focus on our needs, and try to meet our needs with as little ripples to other areas of our life as we can possibly make.

I've learned to listen to that voice in the back of my head, that thing called reason. Common sense still eludes me, though I am making strides to capture it.

Lesson learned.