My last blog was about why I would not want to be a Pastor's Wife and how, although I did not choose it, I am proud and happy to call myself an Army Wife. Today's is about how, try as you might, you will ultimately define yourself by who you surround yourself with.
I read through the comments on the other blog and the thing that stuck out the most to me was that I need to be true to myself, true to God, and to find my own individuality. However. If I am to be true to myself, I would have to say that I have NO idea WHATSOEVER who I am or who I'm supposed to be. I define myself by my situation in life and I adapt to wherever I am at the time. Therefore, who I am, changes with time and situations.
For example, although I do not believe I'd make an exemplary Pastor's Wife, if forced with the situation, I'm sure I'd do fine. I adapt. Right now, I am an Army Wife. Regardless of what I do, that defines who I am for the moment since every decision I make, whether it be for myself or my family, revolves around the Army. That is just how it's going to be until John retires.
When John and I married, my life became about him. When I gave birth to our first son, my life expanded to include him. I consider my life fulfilled if I can be the best mom and wife I can be. This doesn't mean I have dreams of my own. This doesn't mean I don't have a personality all my own. Most anyone can tell you that. My greatest dream is to work for National Geographic as a photojournalist, but if I never complete this dream, I know I can live happily knowing that I've done what I could for my family.
My family defines me. My husband's career defines me. My child defines me. And this is true for everyone! No one can truly say that they are living life to their own full potential. No one can say that they are being entirely true to their selves. It's an impossibility.
There are so many things that define us. The people we surround ourselves with. The groups we identify with. Our pasts. Everything. The only thing I can say is that I have the same bubbly, outgoing, spastic personality that I've had since I was in Elementary School. But with more anger issues.
I am an Army Brat. I am an Army Wife. I am a wife. I am a mother. I am a pre-eclampsia victim. I have high cholesterol. I am a reader. I am a writer. I am a photographer. I am a student. I am a Christian. This is all what makes me, me.
I read through the comments on the other blog and the thing that stuck out the most to me was that I need to be true to myself, true to God, and to find my own individuality. However. If I am to be true to myself, I would have to say that I have NO idea WHATSOEVER who I am or who I'm supposed to be. I define myself by my situation in life and I adapt to wherever I am at the time. Therefore, who I am, changes with time and situations.
For example, although I do not believe I'd make an exemplary Pastor's Wife, if forced with the situation, I'm sure I'd do fine. I adapt. Right now, I am an Army Wife. Regardless of what I do, that defines who I am for the moment since every decision I make, whether it be for myself or my family, revolves around the Army. That is just how it's going to be until John retires.
When John and I married, my life became about him. When I gave birth to our first son, my life expanded to include him. I consider my life fulfilled if I can be the best mom and wife I can be. This doesn't mean I have dreams of my own. This doesn't mean I don't have a personality all my own. Most anyone can tell you that. My greatest dream is to work for National Geographic as a photojournalist, but if I never complete this dream, I know I can live happily knowing that I've done what I could for my family.
My family defines me. My husband's career defines me. My child defines me. And this is true for everyone! No one can truly say that they are living life to their own full potential. No one can say that they are being entirely true to their selves. It's an impossibility.
There are so many things that define us. The people we surround ourselves with. The groups we identify with. Our pasts. Everything. The only thing I can say is that I have the same bubbly, outgoing, spastic personality that I've had since I was in Elementary School. But with more anger issues.
I am an Army Brat. I am an Army Wife. I am a wife. I am a mother. I am a pre-eclampsia victim. I have high cholesterol. I am a reader. I am a writer. I am a photographer. I am a student. I am a Christian. This is all what makes me, me.
I don't know if I necessarily felt you had to explain yourself after your last post, but I definitely see the points you are making here. The only thing that I would add is that the relationship that you have with God, the church, your husband, and with your son is your own. You don't have to explain, justify, or answer to ANYONE except those three people. It is not for anyone else to say what they think you should be doing in your spiritual life (because hopefully they are getting their own house in order and not worrying about yours and trust me if they are doing that they way they are supposed to they won't have time to criticize what you are doing). I hope all the changes you make and I hope the way you choose to live is a reflection of what is in your heart and not an expectation that someone else has for you.
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