One thing that I've discovered over the past couple of weeks is that if God tells you to do something, you need to do it, but you can't lean on Him for everything. You have to put work into it yourself.
In the last blog, I said that I was going to take a break from school, but was eventually going to go back to finish my degree in English. Well, God has other ideas. I'm currently waiting to hear back about an acceptance into Liberty's Resident Undergrad program.
Two problems that have me freaked right now. Number one is my current GPA, which is 1.81. I turned in some paperwork to replace a failing grade with a "C" so hopefully that will bump it up to at least a 1.85. Being an online student has ruined my GPA because I'm notoriously lazy and a big procrastinator. Being Online enables that in so many different ways... Another problem is the workload for next semester. On top of taking two CLEP tests and two ICE's (Liberty's version of CLEP), I am going to be taking 16 hours of resident classes, all 400 level except for one course. I'm understandably freaked out about this. I'm lazy. 12 hours of this load is upper level English classes. The last 4 is a random astronomy class I have to take as an Integrative course. I'm freaked out big time.
My plan is to take the four tests, finish this semester off, independently learn a foreign language (preferably German), then CLEP that, and, if my GPA is high enough and I can win a battle against LU's CSER office, I graduate with a BA in English. After almost six years.
I'm trying very hard to trust God and to put my faith in Him. He's made it painfully clear that this is what He wants me to do; but I'm terrified of failing. God can't do my coursework for me. That's completely up to me, and I'm only human. I fail. A lot. I can lean on Him for support, for strength, for guidance, but I can't ask him to write four eight page essays for me. He won't do it.
Damn free will.
I need prayer. LOTS of it. If I manage to pull this off this semester, I only have Him to praise, not myself. Because I'd never be able to do this alone.
In the last blog, I said that I was going to take a break from school, but was eventually going to go back to finish my degree in English. Well, God has other ideas. I'm currently waiting to hear back about an acceptance into Liberty's Resident Undergrad program.
Two problems that have me freaked right now. Number one is my current GPA, which is 1.81. I turned in some paperwork to replace a failing grade with a "C" so hopefully that will bump it up to at least a 1.85. Being an online student has ruined my GPA because I'm notoriously lazy and a big procrastinator. Being Online enables that in so many different ways... Another problem is the workload for next semester. On top of taking two CLEP tests and two ICE's (Liberty's version of CLEP), I am going to be taking 16 hours of resident classes, all 400 level except for one course. I'm understandably freaked out about this. I'm lazy. 12 hours of this load is upper level English classes. The last 4 is a random astronomy class I have to take as an Integrative course. I'm freaked out big time.
My plan is to take the four tests, finish this semester off, independently learn a foreign language (preferably German), then CLEP that, and, if my GPA is high enough and I can win a battle against LU's CSER office, I graduate with a BA in English. After almost six years.
I'm trying very hard to trust God and to put my faith in Him. He's made it painfully clear that this is what He wants me to do; but I'm terrified of failing. God can't do my coursework for me. That's completely up to me, and I'm only human. I fail. A lot. I can lean on Him for support, for strength, for guidance, but I can't ask him to write four eight page essays for me. He won't do it.
Damn free will.
I need prayer. LOTS of it. If I manage to pull this off this semester, I only have Him to praise, not myself. Because I'd never be able to do this alone.
Then you know what I would tell someone in this situation? You bust your hump and prove EVERYBODY wrong that secretly or openly thinks that you can't achieve your goals! I know you can do this. I KNOW you are going to do well, and I KNOW you are going to make that GPA is going to skyrocket. I believe in you and I will be cheering every single step of the way. Love you.
ReplyDeleteYou can do it. It's all a matter of really wanting it. I'm lazy too (ha, we already knew that! no wonder we are sisters!) and for my BA, my GPA was really low. This time, not only is it not allowed by the school, but my need to also not have a low GPA again is my motivation. If I can do it, so can you. Get your butt into gear, girlie!
ReplyDeleteTime to deactivate your facebook lady! ;) You can do it. I'm praying for you and am only a phone call away if you need some encouragement. ;)
ReplyDelete