A Mile In My Shoes

Tonight, as I was driving back from picking up dinner, I watched a C-130 circle around our apartment, wheels out, as it readied for its landing on McChord field. I wondered to myself if that was the same C-130 that would be taking my husband off on another of his grand adventures.

One of the questions I am asked most often is, "How do you do it?" Do what? How do I stand slipping into a cold bed at night, knowing that there's not going to be anyone there to warm it up? Or how do I stand listening to my two year old son walking around the house calling for his daddy? Or is it how do I manage to get up in the morning, listening to the news for any sign of trouble, while pretending that everything is okay? There's really only one answer: it's because you don't have a choice.

That's what most non-Military families fail to understand. We don't do this because we're special, because we think we're somehow better than others, because for some reason, we're stronger (mentally and emotionally) than the average person. It's because for us, there's no other option. Sure, I could choose to stay in bed all day, sleeping away the length of time he's gone, sinking into a depression that can only be reversed with his coming home. I won't lie, some days, that's exactly what I want to do, until I hear my two year old start waking up in his room, giggling and talking, and I know it's time to start a new day. My one night of self-pity is over. It's time to carry on.

My husband is at war. He's not sitting in some nice, cushy jet flying to a week long business meeting, or travelling to some exotic location for a company getaway. He's in a war zone, carrying a gun. There is every chance that he could be shot or worse. Those are the harsh realities we face everyday. What I wouldn't give to have him lying on a beach somewhere instead of in 60 pounds of gear that's meant to save his life.

When a civilian looks my husband in the eye and says, "Thank you for your service", they fail to see the tears shed the night he leaves. They don't see the missed birthdays and anniversaries. They don't see the last goodbye's, the midnight Skype calls, the worry or the dread, the absolute heart ache.

Most of you will never understand what this life is like, and I pray everyday that you never have to. 

I Clicked It Up A Notch: May Contest

I really love these monthly contests. It's a great opportunity to see how much I've grown in my own skills. There were so many pictures that I took this past month that I would love to share, however, this one was the winner (for me). We had to celebrate my son's second birthday two weeks early since my husband will not be here to celebrate it with us on the day of.

Check out all of the other entries!

Cross Country Day 8

Start: Sidney, Nebraska
End: Rock Springs, Wyoming
Miles: 356

O...M...Gosh... Last night I was up at 2 am listening to the wind threaten to tear the building apart. This morning, we drove in that same wind. That same wind was also blowing freshly fallen snow across the roads, making it nearly impossible to see in spots. Thank goodness I wasn't driving! There were spots on the roads where the sand had mixed with the ice to the point you could not see the lines of demarcation on the road. Pure insanity. And it was COLD!!! It dropped to about 4 degrees, and was only 11 when we stopped to eat in Laramie, Wyoming. Laramie was the valley in between mountains. We passed through part of the Rockies on the way there, then through a few more patches of mountain (just small ones) afterwards. In Laramie, the sun was beautiful and shining. On either side through the mountains, it was like a blizzard. The blowing snow did stop long enough for me to get a few pics of the mountains (below). The weather started clearing nicely after the second set of mountains we passed through, and by the time we dropped from elevation 9000 to elevation 6000, the sky was a brilliant blue again. Wyoming is an absolutely beautiful and wild state. I saw a type of deer I have never seen before (called a prong deer) and a few wild horses. We arrived in Rock Springs and found a hotel for the night, then ordered pizza (which John bought while I gave the puppy a bath) and watched Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows part 1. Tomorrow we advance to Salt Lake City. It's supposed to be a clear and beautiful day, so hopefully snow won't slow us down!

Driving in the mountains

Hey look! More mountains!

Caution: Blowing Snow

Our trip at one point (John was going so slow...)

Could any cross country trip be complete without windmills??

Cross Country Day 7

Start: Lincoln, NE
End: Sidney, NE
Miles: 346

We thought we were going to be able to get out early, however, we've been very messed up on time since changing time zones. At 7 this morning, it was still very dark outside, so we slept in a little longer than originally intended. We ate at the lounge, where Balian promptly threw up all of his breakfast, which sent us scrambling back to the room for a quick shower. After that fiasco, we jumped on to I80 for all 346 miles, stopping in a small town to eat lunch at a Chinese buffet. John and I switched driving at this point, and he drove for the last two hours to our final destination (for the day) in Sidney, Nebraska. After bringing clothes and the dog inside, we went out the original Cabela's store, which, after visiting the original Bass Pro in Springfield, left much to be desired. They did have some pretty impressive taxidermied animals, including a polar bear and a moose! Moose are much bigger than I had ever imagined, and I don't think I would ever want to see one in person. Maybe from a distance, but definitely not up close. Afterwards, we went to walmart to pick up some dinner, then back to the hotel room to chill for the rest of the evening. We are now two hours behind everyone in the east coast, with one more time zone to cross before reaching Washington. Tomorrow we're hoping to cross most of Wyoming, and maybe enter into Utah. Until tomorrow, then!

Cross Country Day 3

Start: Gatlinburg, TN
End: Jackson, TN
Miles: 349

So much for starting early. It took us nearly an hour to get the car packed from our hotel room. I swear we didn't acquire that much stuff while were in Gatlinburg! So why won't it all fit??? After a trip to the post office to  drop off a couple of packages (including a package for two amazing boys who live in Georgia), it was off to Jackson, which is halfway to Springfield, Missouri (where my grandparents live). We stopped for lunch in Arby's after becoming thoroughly confused on why it was still 11 am when it was supposed to be 12 pm (hooray for time change!). Our next stop was Wal-Mart to pick up a sun shade to use in the car for Balian, who had been crying because he couldn't properly see Despicable Me. While we were there, we also picked up a handy dandy backpack leash for the boy. He promptly fell on his face after it was put on. That was our last stop before arriving in Jackson, Tennessee. John even let me pick the hotel for the night (which is a nicer one than he would have picked). After unloading shower stuff and our clothes, we headed to Buffalo Wild Wings for a delicious dinner. Back at the hotel, Balian enjoyed a nice bath and wrestle time with mommy and daddy. Now, time for bed to get ready for another day of driving, and two days of rest.