Yesterday morning started out the same as usual. I left for class on time (for once) but arrived two minutes late because of traffic. I have no idea why traffic was so bad yesterday. Maybe it was because of the motocyclist that decided to swerve around me and cut in front of fifteen other cars in order to make the light. At any rate, class yesterday morning (Theology and Politics) had me reeling on a few different aspects. When I disagree with someone on points that I feel that I am right on, I have a tendency to become aggressive in my defense of the points (something I have to work on). After class ended with the same fight over my parking spot as I was leaving and ended with me almost being hit by a camaro (not my fault! He tried to turn into me!). A very frustrated me was thinking about just calling it a day right there, but decided to suck it up and go to my next class, where something very disturbing happened. I started having this tightening in my stomach. Honest to God, it felt like a contraction. I've been having these off and on for a month or so, but more so in the past couple of days. So after class I called my doc, who then told me to go to the er, where I sat for six hours while they told me I was fine, but they were going to treat me for a UTI. The doc himself said that UTI is just words for "I don't know what's going on". That really instilled a lot of confidence in me. I got home at around 10, still feeling sick and crying on top of that. I have since decided that a lot of my issues center around stress.
I stress out easily. I don't do it on purpose, and it generally doesn't last long. Today ends my third week of class, and I have been stressing almost relentlessly. I have a paper due on Monday, a paper due Thursday, plus near 500-1000 pages of reading to do a week. On top of getting my photography business off of the ground. On top of raising Balian (whom I am missing somewhat desperately).
It has just been a bad week (with the exception of Tuesday, which was a glorious day). I am still working as diligently as ever on my school work, but I am very ready for this to all be over. I miss having my freedom. I miss spending time with Balian. I miss being me.
I stress out easily. I don't do it on purpose, and it generally doesn't last long. Today ends my third week of class, and I have been stressing almost relentlessly. I have a paper due on Monday, a paper due Thursday, plus near 500-1000 pages of reading to do a week. On top of getting my photography business off of the ground. On top of raising Balian (whom I am missing somewhat desperately).
It has just been a bad week (with the exception of Tuesday, which was a glorious day). I am still working as diligently as ever on my school work, but I am very ready for this to all be over. I miss having my freedom. I miss spending time with Balian. I miss being me.
You are definitely having a rough go of it lately it seems Victoria. How much longer do you have to go in school? I think the only advice I can give is for you to find the one thing a day that you can do to make yourself happy, whether it's spending a couple minutes with the baby or a couple minutes with your nose stuck in your favorite book. I have found that if I have something tiny to look forward to my days go by much much easier....
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry you have been having a hard time. I hope things get better and you are able to squeeze at least a few minutes of "me" time in there. Good luck with your school work!
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